Somebody asked me recently, if I was working with somebody with a thyroid condition what protocol would I follow? Would it be AIP, Keto, Paleo? And I was like no, I don’t subscribe to any diet actually I just subscribed to you getting a feel and a sense for what foods are good for your body and what will give you energy. So yeah I’ve tried them all and they demented me so I don’t do that anymore and that’s how I work with my clients. Restrictive diets are not the goal.
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Deciding On The Right Goal
So when you come to me and you say well what should I do? Where do I start? We really start with looking at our goals. And with that goal, we pick an overarching goal. Where do you want to get to? What is it that you want to do? Who is it that you want to feel? How is it that you want to be living? What do you want to hear other people say about you? What do you want to hear yourself say about you? How do you want to show up in a red dress? Do you need to be thin to show up in that red dress or do you want to show up in that red dress as you are the amazing person that you are?
So we start thinking about who you want to be. Then we start looking at what are all the other things that you’ve done in your life. What you have already achieved. Every day is a learning day, so without realizing, you are always learning. We often don’t pay attention to what we have accomplished along the way. We dismiss it because we haven’t gotten to the end. But if the marathon runner didn’t pay attention to the 10K and the 15K along the way, they wouldn’t go on and get to the end of the marathon. So, we need to pay attention to all the milestones that we already have because if, again, the focus is only on the absence of what we feel we don’t yet have, we forget how every little win is getting us closer to that goal.
Acknowledging What You Are Already Great At
Looking forward only and not back is normal because everything goes to striving into wanting more or into bettering your future self. That’s who we are as humans, we like to better ourselves. And I applaud that. What I do like you to do, however, is better yourself by noticing what you’re already great at. What obstacles have you already overcome? As from there, we begin to notice that while there are things that will get in our way, those obstacles are there for us to grow and learn and stretch.
I used to view obstacles as a reason to go back into this little loop of sabotaging behaviors and stay stuck on the treadmill. In all walks of my life, this comes up, it’s not just in terms of my health and well-being that this comes up but also in terms of my work, I notice it with my children, in my relationship with my husband and my friends. There’s all these little behaviors that come back into my life. And it’s by being aware of what those obstacles are and then learning how to get over them, looking at them as opportunities to grow rather than opportunities to retreat and retract into the safe zone, that we’re really not very content in.
Understanding That There Will Be New Learnings
Now, remember I said all of us are looking to move forward? That’s the way humans are, we always want to get forward. So when we are making those goals, we must go back to first understanding all of these things. Here’s where you want to get to, here are the milestones or things that you already have and here’s the obstacles that may get in the way.
But, what else do we need in there? Well we also need to get in some new learning and that’s where I bring in the nutrition piece. So I start teaching you about the nutrition and I start challenging you and getting you to think about your beliefs and where those beliefs come from. Who has told you about those beliefs and how true are they really? Does the science say it? What is your body feeling? This is because knowing the science and feeling it are two very different things. There are hundreds of ways of doing the same thing so you just have to find the right person to allow you to find what’s the best way for you.
Speak To Yourself With Kindness
The other thing that’s really crucial and what we talk about a lot is the language. How do we speak to ourselves? How much compassion do we give to ourselves as we’re doing this learning? I hear lots of harsh words like, “I should have known better”, “I’m just so angry with myself” or “I’m a complete failure”. All of this language is really damaging for our bodies and our brains. If you said this to somebody else, you’d see their bodies physically retracting, but yet we do to our bodies all the time when we talk to ourselves like that. I know it can be hard to accept yourself for all that you are, which may not be everything that you want to be. But, the compassion and the language, the choice to speak to yourself more kindly will help you, as you begin to stretch and grow and change and to feel even better.
Speaking personally, I’ve done a lot of learning and have put in a lot of work on accepting myself for who I am, warts and all, and moving myself forward to being the person that I want to be and that I truly feel comfortable with. And these are all learnings that I bring with me into the coaching environment.
Getting The Right Coaching
Coaching should always be about pushing that little bit further so that you can meet the little milestones that are so important for you to get to the end. Remember, it’s a lifestyle change and some people think a lifestyle change happens overnight and simply stays there forever. But, when you want to commit to a lifestyle change you are committing to continually putting in the work. You are committing to giving some time and attention to it every day. And that’s the piece that’s really exciting because it will no longer feel like a challenge. It’s just giving a little bit of yourself every day to something for you, that excites you and that really does bring you back rewards.
If you would like to find out if coaching is for you then book a free clarity call with me. We’ll identify what exactly the challenges are that you face with your food and health goals and create a roadmap for you to use that works for you.